On What Transphobia Really is
In a world where you’ve played your assigned roles so well, where you’ve buttoned yourself up, sacrificed your truths, sacrificed your individuality, what makes these strange folx so special that they get to do what they want?
Nothing. They’re not special. You know that and it’s precisely where your issues with them come from. If there’s nothing inherently more special about trans people than you, then it means that you have what it takes to be yourself, too.
If you’re completely honest with yourself, your obsession about what’s right or natural has nothing to do with morality. Right, wrong, natural, unnatural are opinions you hide behind to bypass looking at the ways that you reject yourself.
Are you really too __________ or is that the story you buy into to cover up the fact that society says you’re too __________?
Or is your personality actually a set of defense mechanisms to cover up your soft spots?
If you’re completely honest with yourself, you envy the courage trans people exercise in a world that would rather they didn’t exist. They risk literal murder in order to just be themselves and here you are, hiding behind other people’s expectations. If you’re radically honest with yourself, your transphobia is really self-hatred and cowardice. It’s a cover up that also buys you belonging with other people who justify their self-hatred by hating trans people.
We all share the grace of being born human, trans or not. We all share the burden of trying to remain ourselves in a world that demands conformity. By fighting for the right and space to be themselves, trans people actively reject society’s inhumane expectations of them… when that’s something you’re failing to do.
On Cultural Collapse
There is no transgender mania where trans people are trying to take over the world and make everyone like them.
Transgender mania is really trans panic, a phenomena experienced by people who aren’t trans to justify violence toward them.
If anything, it signals shortcomings by the people panicking:
the inability to cope with change, the inability to see trans people as people the inability to not define people by their genitalia, the inability to mind their own damn business.
Expanding our imaginings of what gender is isn’t a break from tradition, it’s a return to it. The global indigenous traditions we come from, before becoming a “race” had space to hold numerous gender identities.
European settler colonialism is what erased those traditions, limited our imaginations and created punishments for people who don’t fit an either/or box.
Further, culture is not our friend. “Culture is for other people’s convenience and the convenience of various institutions, churches, companies, tax collection schemes, what have you. It is not your friend. It insults you. It disempowers you. It uses and abuses you. None of us are well-treated by culture…”
What if it’s a Mistake?
Someone else’s mistake is not your cross to bear.
More importantly, what if you don’t let someone make a mistake and they end up killing themselves?
Is that really a fair tradeoff?
There are worse things in life than mistakes. Further, how many trans people who transition actually regret it? I’ll wait. If anything, lots of folx say they wish they’d transitioned sooner.
You know who regularly regrets living up to other people’s expectations of their bodies, later in life? Your precious non-trans straight women, that’s who.
Do you stop fat people from dieting? They might be losing the weight in unhealthy ways that they’ll regret in the long term.
Do you bust up weddings of people you think need more time?
Probably not. You probably hold your peace.
Why the fuck can’t you do it on this issue?